short story
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Part of a short story from the 80s, not finished the data entry yet, but have a look.
I bike over to the Naam, a vegetarian restaurant on 4th. Terry is a cook there. It is crowded but Terry and Ross have managed to scam a good table by the window. They have a chessboard set up.

me to Terry "day off?"
Terry "yeah so don't trust the kitchen"
Ross "so Terry, Kristaps and his sister came in for lunch and there was some fierce pumpkin soup"
me, Kristaps "oh yeah, that was a mistake, tragic mistake, orange mud"
Terry "wasn't me, probably Deloris, she broke up with her boyfriend and has been hungover all month"
waitress "coffee boys?"
me "I'll have tea today"
Ross "yeah, a rebel, I'll have tea too"
me "something weird"
Ross "yeah a weird tea, a weird tea"

Terry helps himself to a coffee and then gets some salads from the kitchen. Our waitress is new. She is very atractive and has a soft hypnotic voice. Her hair is long, wavy, dark brown, and in a ponytail. Her eyes are chestnut and she doesn't wear much makeup and no earrings but she does have lots of bracelets and a very colourful blouse.

me "Terry, who is the new waitress?"
Terry "her name is Veronica"
Ross "and cute"
me "wow, a gypsy, I wonder if she has any special wisdom, maybe she likes poets. Terry, do you think she likes poetry?"
Veronica "yes I do"
me "oh" [blush]
Veronica "do you like [some obscure poets]?"
me "ummm"
Veronica "how about Chaucer, Rilke?"
me "I've read Rilke's novel"
Veronica " you like me?"
me "I don't know, scientist are supposed to fall in love at first sight"
Veronica "are you a scientist?"
me "no, I want to be a poet, maybe you could help"
Veronica "maybe I could"

She goes to another table. We finish our lunch and play a couple games of chess. We talk about Archie comics and Dostoevsky. I like the Brothers Karamazov but not the Idiot. I only read half then gave my copy to Ross. He says he is reading it now.

On New Year's day we borrow my sister's car and go to the Polar Bear Swim. Then we cruise around. Terry is driving and Ross and I are screaming out this chant "polar bear...with a hard on". Right on. Later that day we meet Terry at Biminis.

Ross "let's get some acid beacause I want to get really wild."
me "wild? what is wild. Is screaming wild to you? I could scream louder than arena of hockey fans right now and I wouldn't need drugs"
Terry "that'd get us kicked out for sure"
me "how about grabbing girls' buns?"
Ross "that's wild"
me "yeah but no drugs, just a crowd, like at Expo where you are always bumping into girls"
Terry "perverted man"
Ross "or wild"
me "yeah, wild women"
all "hoot, hoot, hoot"
server "would you care for drinks?"
Terry "yeah, a round of coffee, please"
me "listen, I have this great game, you say a word then use the last letter to form a new word"
Terry "ok, pub"
Ross "breasts"
me "oh yeah, sexual connotations, bonus points, sexy waitress"

Soon we are shouting and the whole bar is getting excited. Excellent. I even write a poem for the server.

Tonight I went to the Luvafair. I asked a girl to dance but she said no so I told her that she was missing a wonderful opportunity and I suggested that maybe I was the Greek god of lust, Doinysus. Then I met Angie. She has long red hair. I told her she is beautiful. She already knew this but she laughed at my jokes and thought I was funny. I even bought her a drink but she had come with her boyfriend and so wouldn't dance with me. I danced with an older woman, 27, whom works at UBC. She's kinda funcky. I go to the can. Instead of white pucks in the shancks they have these cylinders so I say "looks like Frosty the Snowman was here, looks like he left something". I talk to a lesbian couple. The younger girl flirts with me. She thinks I am a truly gorgeous male and would sort-of like to have sex with me but that she is 'most faithful' to her girlfriend, Elizabeth, who is cool. She is about 33 and a secretary but also an artist; she paints. She spent two years in Burma and studied Zen with a strange and once popular psychologist who now lives there. I dance with Lincky. Lincky and I have just become friends. We play with each other's hair which is so soft. She says she has never met anyone with such perfect hair as my own. The singer in the chorus of this song keeps saying 'cut me down', so I tell Lincky he must be really neurotic because he thinks he is a tree. She laughs and I tell her some other jokes that make her happy.


Haven't seen Ross for a few months. I am working at Colleg Pro Ripoff again. When I went to my job interview I couldn't see. My glasses were broken and I couldn't afford new ones so I faked it. Plus the interviewer was a Zammist, Persig's Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintainance, so we got along well. Though I don't like manager or clients much. Trying to get as much free labour from me as they can. I quit on the final day of my contract. That evening I am packed for a pilgrimage to some isolated ancient Rocky Mountain peak where I can meditate and become a sage.

I go hiking in Banff. My backpack weighs more than me. I have these awful blisters. It rains. I set up camp for a week. Lots of bugs. I used to be a backpacker but the mosquitos ate my legs. Hungry I head back to town for food. I find a job with staff accommadation at the Banff Springs Hotel. Aaaaaaaaaaaargh. Hot. Hot. Hot. Suana. Can't breathe, can't sleep, aaaaaaaggggghhhhh, and the work I do, dishwashing, aaaaaaarrgghh. Actually it is not so bad. The dish crew has water fights and conspires to get deserts from the kitchen. and the waitresses in the Rob Roy are cute. I write them songs; "I like to daydream about waitress bums, I like to daydream about waitress bums, I like to daydream about waitress bums, I like to daydream, to daydream, to dream". And I have friend Maryce whom is gorgeous. And I work with two girls from Montreal, Stephanie and Sophie. Sometimes my friend Warren and I pretend to apes and point at cute girls and say "ugh, ugh, girl, girl". They like that and smile. We think all women are goddesses. I have another friend Sean who does acid and hardly ever sleeps. In the staff cafeteria I sig songs and get people excited playing games or having jello slurping contests. I had a friend Jeri who liked me with whom I sang Rolling Stones songs, but she went back to Calgary. She gave me her number but I lost it. I write a letter to Leah.

"I stare at olive drab proof garbage cans. I'm in Banff. I spent a week hiking along a river. I hitchhiked from Calgary. Saved $10. I got a job at the BSH. I have two roommates, but they're not girls, too bad; Thomas and Francois. This morning Francois asked me to cut his hair. I warned him he should get someone else to do it because I have never cut hair before, but "no" I can do it. So I try to cut his hair and already it is too short. He looks in the mirror adn I've screwwed up in the left corner and I'm laughing so he starts throwing towels at me. Actually it wasn't too bad."


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